By Jennifer Stultz
Tri-County Tribune Editor
jstultz@cherryroad.com

I was so mad. I felt ignored, sabotaged, disregarded and disrespected. A special project that I had been working on for the company that employs me suddenly spiraled out of control and there was nothing I could do about it. In words, it doesn’t sound like something to get upset about, but I was.

I had invested time I didn’t have, carved out minutes from family time, worked through physical illness, jumped through hoops that had no end, just to be told in the end that my work had not been used because someone else had made a mistake. Oh well. Better luck next time.

The whole thing upset me so much that I couldn’t eat, I didn’t feel well, I couldn’t sleep. At night, I battled with the negative thoughts crowding into my brain about what I should do, whom I should talk to and what should be said. But in the end, I realized there was only one thing to do and that was take it to the Lord.

I laid in bed at night, literally saying, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, just trying to stop the angry thoughts from overcrowding my consciousness. During the day, I had to forcibly stop my brain from thinking the wrong way by grasping at Christian songs and hymns I knew. “Jesus is the Sweetest Name I know,” “There is a Redeemer,” “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, There’s Just Something About That Name,” those are the songs that I turned to. There was only one way to keep from zipping off angry emails and letting negativity erode into the rest of my life, and that was through the name of Jesus Christ.

I have always believed in Jesus, but to be honest, I always felt a bit distant from him because I pray directly to God. My prayers always begin with Dear God. I know about the Holy Trinity – God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, but Jesus, who died for my sins and sacrificed his life on earth for my eternal life and hope was a bit on the fuzzy edge of my understanding.

How terrible to even admit that I don’t really know Jesus. My heart screamed that I love Jesus, but honestly my mind just didn’t understand the how and why.

One thing that has always upset me is when people around me take the name of the Lord, namely Jesus, in vain. Saying that name in derision or excitement, or condemnation of someone else is so wrong. It is part of the Ten Commandments outlined in Deuteronomy 5:11 in our Bibles, guidelines for abundant life on earth. “You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not leave anyone unpunished who takes His name in vain.” (NRSV). This does not mean we cannot call on the Lord, namely Jesus, this means we must really mean it when we do call out to Jesus to help us.

When I was angry beyond my own control, I finally began to understand who and what Jesus was to me. He was the roaring lion who could hold back the devil that was inciting me to greater indignant wrath. Jesus was the only power big enough, strong enough to help me focus on what really mattered; and it was not my own justification.

We know from the Bible that when Jesus was arrested and put on trial for crimes he did not commit or for misunderstandings about who he was, he did not get angry and demand justice. He was rejected, reviled, despised and forsaken by his own people, and yet he knew there was more importance in staying calm and committed to the good work of God.

In my own anger, I learned this week so much more about Jesus. I will never forget how he helped still my own storm, how he held me back from my own self-destruction, how he answered my prayers when I called out his name.

Thank you, Jesus. It was a tough lesson, but now I know who you are and can be for those who seek your name. May I never forget again.

“Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” – Acts 4:12